Queen Jane

After having his previous wife beheaded on a trumped up treason charge, Frog King Henry VIII marries again. 

Jane Seymour - possibly the originator of the phrase "plain Jane". She may not have been a contender for Miss Britain 1537, but she made Henry happy.

Queen Jane!

Now there's a lovely sounding royal name for you.

If only she'd lived a little longer she might have had a capital city or a state named after her. Who wants to live in Adelaide or Victoria when you could live in Jane?

But she never actually got crowned queen becuase there was a plague in in London at the time and the churches were closed.

However, she did manage to produce a son: Eddie. Unfortunately, back in 16th century England, they had not yet developed the Millenium Development Goals and the UK was not exactly leading the way in maternal and child health.  Jane died from birth complications a couple of weeks after the birth of her boy tadpole, leaving Henry holding the baby.

All a bit tragic really.

Next, please

Frog King Henry and his lovely wife Anne have a tadpole, Elizabeth. But no sons.

This is a problem for Henry who wants to be able to play leap frog with his boys.

And Anne keeps going on at him about the importance of education for everyone. Even girls.

Obviously, she'll have to go.

Having had so much trouble getting rid of his first wife, Henry decides a new approach is needed for this one. 

He declares that Anne is a witch and that she cast a spell on him to turn him into a frog.

He also claimed she was a getting a bit too friendly with some of the other frogs and toads who hung about the court.

The solution is simple.

Off with her head.

The great matter creates a great schism

Frog Henry VIII decides to speak to the Frog Pope about getting a divorce from Boring Katherine so he can marry Not-Boring Anne.

The Frog Pope tells him that divorce on the grounds of boredom is just not on.

Henry goes off in a big sulk and does it anyway.  And he and the Frog Pope cease to be friends.

But as Henry has a lovely new wife, he's not too fussed.

The Frog King and the Great Matter

One of the problems with marrying your older brother's ex girlfriend (or wife) is that there is a fair chance she'll be older than you. And maybe smarter too.

Frog King Henry VIII is bored with marriage to the Spanish girl.  They've had no sons, which Henry thinks is important. And they just don't share the same interests.  He's into music and dancing and jousting and tennis. She likes church. And besides... there's this new girl that he likes. Anne.  She's kind of sweet...

The Frog who would be King

Frog Henry VIII never actually expected to become a King.  This is because he was only the second tadpole of Frog Henry VII and had an older brother, Arthur, who always got to do everything first. As is often the way in high class Frog families, the first born son is groomed to become King, whilst younger children are encouraged to go into the Church or the Army.

Frog Prince Arthur was named after King Arthur, despite the fact that his parents did not have a round table, or keep wizards on hand to help when things got a bit tricky running the Kingdom.

Arthur was a happy-go-lucky red-headed frog who got married early to a Spanish girl his parents had chosen for him. When Arthur unexpectedly died at the age of 15, Frog Prince Henry was told to pull his stockings up and take over the family business - and the family bride.

After dating for a while Frog Prince Henry was married to the Spanish girl, Katherine of Aragon  - she was a June bride.  They enjoyed the party so much they decided to have another a few weeks later and had a June coronation as well.

Despite the fact that photography was not invented for another few hundred years, they still managed to have some lovely family portraits taken.

Royal treatment

Royals.

Love 'em or hate 'em, there are a lot of 'em about.

In Canberra in recent weeks we've had Her Maj the Queen. We've had Barack who isn't exactly royal but may as well be. And we've had Fred and Mary. Awwww.

And of course, the place is simply teeming with frogs.  And we all know what happens if you kiss a frog.  Those green (or brown, or yellow or whatever) skins are covering some pretty princely interiors.

Here's one frog reflecting that really, there's not a lot to choose between his handsome self and Henry VIII.

A bit of gold. 

A bit of purple.

Some circles.

Some stripes.

And a very neat waist.

They could be twins.

Bandana day

Bandana Day 2011 has come and gone but the bandanas linger on.

Truly, a Canteen bandana is an excellent thing.

You can tie your hair up with one.

Or blow your nose on it. 

You can even use one to mop the sweat from your brow.

But preferably not in that order.

More importantly, you (or to be precise my clever niece Claire) can turn a bandana into a Frog.

Impressive, huh?

And so we ask, is there anything better than a Bandana Frog?

Perhaps two Bandana Frogs!

The circus is on fire

After the little mishap on the trapeze, the Frogs decide to try and get the audience back on-side with something spectacular.

Fire-twirling.

On the Trapeze.

What could possibly go wrong?

The circus is still in town

All it takes is for one frog to lose their grip....

Ow.

The upside of being a stretch frog is that you bounce!

And in seconds flat they have made it back on the the trapeze again.

Ta Da!

("Do you think anyone noticed?")

The circus is in town

The Red Poison Arrows are here. 

To perform their amazing stretch frog circus act.

Like all good circuses, some bits of it are held together with string.

The act begins with some trapeze work.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five!

What could possibly go wrong?

No guts, no glory

Back to dissecting things.

We've already seen the insides of some frogs

But you have to check this one out.

 

Cool, huh?

Who knew you could do that with lego?

Never eat anything bigger than your head

Frog feels a little peckish.

A boiled egg would be just the thing.

But which one should he choose?

Based on the principle that you should never eat anything bigger than your head...

...Frog opts for the smaller egg.

A perfect mouthful!

It's not easy being green

Frogs are often victims of colourist attitudes.  They often find the best way to deal with this is to simply hop away.

But what is one to do if one is a bottle-brush, normally known for being a bright and cheery red, and rooted to the spot?

Why, find a sympathetic friend.

Or two.

More froggy phones

Kermit the Phone Frog here...

Oh, I love it. 

Froggy phone home

Want to communicate with frogs? 

Perhaps (in a "the medium is the message" kind of a way) talking on a frog is as good as talking to a frog. 

Here are some options:

This Frog phone has some kind of wind-up mechanism and a whole load of eco-credentials.

This one comes from Taiwan, has the numbers inside (his mouth flips open so you can dial and talk) and his eyes light up when there's an incoming call.

And this one is just cute and fluffy.  Awwwww. 

Imagine having that snuggled up to your ear. 

Otterly gorgeous (2)

It seems I'm not the only one who thinks Frogs and Otters might go well together.

I love this Frog and Otter sculpture by Georgia Gerber.

Which you can find in the sculpture park on the Island of San Juan.

Or just embroider your own otterly gorgeous friends. 

Otterly gorgeous

Otters.

Gotta love 'em.

I have recently discovered the joy of the Daily Otter.

Where i learnt how to make an origami otter.

Cute, huh?

Frog certainly thinks so.

It might be love.

More leap frog

Vicarious leap frog. Just the thing for a lazy Sunday.

Follow the link.

Joining the circus (2)

If you are a bit squeamish look away now.

There are a few different ways of joining the circus if you are a frog.

Apparently, one of them is to die.

In Holyoke, Massachussetts there's a Dead Frog Circus. 

Created by a man with an interest in taxidermy.

And possibly a very rich imaginary life.

Stuffed dead frogs doing circus tricks.

Every home should have some.

Running away to join the circus

Having helped the Red Arrow frog to overcome his stress problems, the Amphibiotherapist has a request to make.

"Can I join the circus?"

The frogs get into a huddle to discuss it.

Finally, they agree.

"Let's start with something easy. Leapfrog. All you have to do is leap over the frogs."

The Amphibiotherapist gets into position.

And...

... falls a little short.

She tries again.

But this time only manages to get as far as the back of the stack - not the front.

Finally the frogs hit on a synchronised move that they think the amphibiotherapist can handle.

A Conga line!

Seeking professional help

The stressed out perfroming frog seeks some professional help from an Amphibiotherapist.

"Frog-baby, you've got to relax.  Watch me."

"Now you try".

The Red Arrow gives it a go. 

"You're still looking a little strung out. I want you to try again.  This time I'll do it with you. Now, on the count of three...."

"Better!"