Happily ever after?

Golden frog was halfway through the stolen toast when the Pumpkin family returned from their walk.

They were shocked to find a strange amphibian making herself at home amongst their morning meal.  

Golden frog rushed over to greet them, determined to charm them into adopting her as one of the family.

She tried to befriend Baby Pumpkin but he merely wailed about the loss of his toast.

Next she turned to Mummy Pumpkin begging her to take pity on a poor orphan frog.  Mummy Pumpkin was umnoved and wary of having anything to do with someone with such terrible manners.

Finally she threw herself at Daddy Pumpkin, flirting outrageously and hinting that she was not averse to a bit of cross-species love if that's what it would take.

The Pumpkins, appalled at such behaviour, called the police.

And Goldren frog soon found herself in court where this indiscretion was added to a long list of crimes performed under other names. The judge ordered her to remove her Golden wig and she was soon revealed to be nothing more than a green frog of the commonest kind. There were some who hinted perhaps she was a toad.

And so she found herself where she belonged. Not embraced by the pumpkins, but behind bars. Reflecting at leisure on the fact that crime (no matter how petty) does not pay.

Once upon a time continued, continued

So... where were we?

Pumpkins (3) in a nuclear family.

Out for a walk.

Golden frog comes along. 

What happens next?

Strangely, the pumpkins have left a perfectly good meal sitting on the table whilst they go for their walk.  So Golden frog decides to make herself at home amongst the breakfast things. Weird, huh?  Quite obviously she was not brought up right.  Anyway...

Daddy Pumpkin's tea-cup was too large.

 

Mummy Pumpkin's tea-cup was too trashy.

But Baby Pumpkin's cup had frogs on it so it was just right.

Mummy Pumpkin's toast was not cooked at all.

Daddy Pumpkin's toast was carcinogenic.

And (surprise, surprise) Baby Pumpkin's toast looked perfect.

So Golden Frog slathered it in home-made marmalade from the Harrison-Burnett farm at Tilba and got stuck in.

She was about half-way through when she heard footsteps....

to be continued

We know what frogs like

We know what frogs like.

For the older blogees (those of you who remember the 80s) the rest of this blog can be read with that horrendous tune from the Waitresses going through your head "I know what boys like..."

Frogs like..... (drumroll)....SUSHI!

See, here is proof.

Turns out boys like Sushi too.

Or at least Darcy does.

So that's why the next IRON FROG challenge is....

(another drumroll)....

SUSHI!

One definition of the dish is:
Cold cooked rice dressed with vinegar that is shaped into bite-sized pieces and topped with raw or cooked fish, or formed into a roll with fish, egg, or vegetables and wrapped in seaweed.

The challenge is now open.

Whose cuisine will reign supreme?

Once upon a time continued

One day, whilst the pumpkins were out walking*, a golden frog strayed onto the table where the pumpkins lived.

*What do you mean, pumpkins don't walk?

They do in this blog.

Once upon a time

Once upon a time there lived three pumpkins...

Daddy Pumpkin

Mummy Pumpkin

And Baby Pumpkin.

(Patience people, the frog will make an appearance soon)

Fishing frogs

There's frog fish (not hairy this time)

And there's fishing frogs

And I heard a rumour that there's fishing with frogs.  But I'm not going there.

Not when these are so cute.

The naked truth

Frog faces his demons. 

And a half naked potato.

Although a little concerned about the backlash from his bovver-boy potato brothers-in-law (who are not averse to a bit of raw spud), Frog makes his decision....

And Miss Mash is crowned Miss Potato 2011.

There was much rejoicing!

Judge not lest you, yourself be judged

Day 2 at the Potato Pageant.

And Frog was nervous.

He had been complicit in the elimination of two fine potatoes.

Now only four entrants remain.

 Fry, Pontiac, Chip and Mash.

Frog is forced to examine his own consience as well as the sprouting beauties.

First, he considers the blondes.

He eliminates the fast-food twins Chip and Fry, determining that they are just a bit too light and fluffy for their own good.

Next he turns his attention to Ms Pontiac. 

 She of the genetic modification rumours. Was it true she had once worked for Monsanto? (it was).

Frog wonders, how far will she go to win the pageant? 

He's heard a rumour that she's willing to take her coat off.

He checks it out.

Completely true.  Ms Pontiac has stripped bare!

Good grief!  What will happen next?

Consequences...

Frog comes home from his first day of judging at the Miss Potato Pageant 2011 full of excitement.

His wife, however, is irate when she hears that two of the smartest spuds in the competition have been knocked out simply becuase they don't conform to the traditional models of vegetable beauty.

Frog tries to make up for it with flowers...

But Potato is still enraged.

"Good grief", she yells. 

"What do I have to do to make you see that potatoes are beautiful on the inside too!"

Let the judging begin

All the contestants strut their stuff in the opening round of Miss Potato 2011.

And although we may like to think of pototoes (and those who judge them) as enlightened, really it should come as no surprise that they can be just as shallow as the rest of us.

The original field of six is quickly whittled down to four.

And surprise, surprise (potato surprise), it's the glamour girls with the long hair (including three blondes) who make it through to the second round.

Miss Mash

The final contestant is Miss Mash.  She's four months old and has got the vegetable patch cred to prove it. But she's not just sassy, she's smart too, with a degree in food technology and a successful chat show to her name.

Ms Pontiac

Ms Pontiac is already something of a celebrity.  She likes fast cars, good times and hot oil. 

And there's a rumour going round that she's been genetically modified!

Miss Idaho

Miss Idaho is probably the oldest potato in the pageant.  She has entered on a platform of potato integrity.  She firmly believes modern potatoes have lost sight of what is important and need to return to their roots

Miss Chip and Miss Fry

Miss Chip and Miss Fry are definitely among the hot potato favourites for this competion.

They are twins - aged about 3 and a half months. 

(Miss Chip)

(Miss Fry)

They like walks along the beach (but not seagulls), dancing and all outdoor sports.  Oh, and they want world peace.

Meet the contestants - Ms Gratin

Obviously, you can't have a pageant without potatoes.

So here are the best of this year's potato crop.

Ms Gratin is about 4 months old. She was one of the top fund raisers for the pageant. She has a Masters of Soil Science and is passionate about food security.

Miss Potato 2011

Frog is thrilled to receive an invitation to judge the Miss Potato pageant 2011.

He says it is a true marker of inclusivity from a community that once shunned amphibians.

His wife says he is just a potato pervert.

Frog and fowl (3)

Frog finds himself face to beak with a large beast.

Could be a turkey.

Or it could be....

...the Ood.

You be the judge.

Frog and fowl (2)

Frog is intrigued by the roosters.

And gets some styling tips for...

the classic...

... comb-over.